Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Being Rude
Ok, so I know that politeness differs as the customs differ, but that doesn't make it any easier.
I spend a considerable amount of time in two very different parts of the world, and this difference in customs and hence politeness, can drive me insane. Trust me, the Middle East and North America, specifically Canada are very different.
I'm not going to say my views about the two societies yet because I don't want to offend anyone kind enough to read this. Let me assure you though that I have very critical views about both societies and cultures.
However, I will comment on one thing that is extremely different. Family - family ties and the way families are viewed. How is it related to being rude? This is how.
My cousin is getting married. She was born Canadian and lived here all her life as did her parents. They have chosen to forget our customs and adopt the Canadian ones and invite my brother and his wife to the wedding but not to invite their kids.
I know. You probably don't even think it's a big deal. But let me put it in a way that might make it more clear. They have chosen to invite one part of the family but not the other. Aren't the kids of my brother part of the family? Aren't they just as close in relation? It wouldn't occur to anyone to invite one my brother but not me, why then be rude to the kids?
Now you would say, 'but kids have no place in a wedding.' Perhaps, perhaps not. I disagree with that, I think that if there's a place where kids do have a place is at a wedding. But regardless of what I think, it isn't up to me. It is up to the parents to decide whether or not they want to come with the kids. Not up to the host. If it were me, I wouldn't attend the wedding, but then I would be considered impolite - how odd.
So rudeness and politeness come in very many different ways. Saying 'thank you' and 'please' aren't the end all and be all of being polite. Quite the contrary, in my views. One's actions and the way we treat each other is much more important than superficial things - don't you agree?
I spend a considerable amount of time in two very different parts of the world, and this difference in customs and hence politeness, can drive me insane. Trust me, the Middle East and North America, specifically Canada are very different.
I'm not going to say my views about the two societies yet because I don't want to offend anyone kind enough to read this. Let me assure you though that I have very critical views about both societies and cultures.
However, I will comment on one thing that is extremely different. Family - family ties and the way families are viewed. How is it related to being rude? This is how.
My cousin is getting married. She was born Canadian and lived here all her life as did her parents. They have chosen to forget our customs and adopt the Canadian ones and invite my brother and his wife to the wedding but not to invite their kids.
I know. You probably don't even think it's a big deal. But let me put it in a way that might make it more clear. They have chosen to invite one part of the family but not the other. Aren't the kids of my brother part of the family? Aren't they just as close in relation? It wouldn't occur to anyone to invite one my brother but not me, why then be rude to the kids?
Now you would say, 'but kids have no place in a wedding.' Perhaps, perhaps not. I disagree with that, I think that if there's a place where kids do have a place is at a wedding. But regardless of what I think, it isn't up to me. It is up to the parents to decide whether or not they want to come with the kids. Not up to the host. If it were me, I wouldn't attend the wedding, but then I would be considered impolite - how odd.
So rudeness and politeness come in very many different ways. Saying 'thank you' and 'please' aren't the end all and be all of being polite. Quite the contrary, in my views. One's actions and the way we treat each other is much more important than superficial things - don't you agree?
